Why men date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from old ages. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with problems, cause sorrow, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, money, age difference, religious upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married date.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are people seeking affairs. I am sure mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your relatives or anyone else? You would need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest grouping, very big truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the male is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a man I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is not here, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.